Similarities Between French Fries and Civilization V


Bismarck eating French fries.

Seems to be a strange aproach between two delectable activities, but you’ll soon find out that I am damn right about this.

The idea for this article crossed my mind while I was digging the web for some advices and tricks from more experienced players. Indeed, I found few useful information and some guys were straightforward to the answer (so don’t get the idea that the internet is full of nonsense regarding this topic, because it is not… not entirely). Anyway, I cannot ignore those who came by with an attitude like „y’all if you have balls go and conquer, that’s the only way to win this”. It is simply a waste of time to go every single time for a domination. More of that, this is the easiest way to win and it soon turns to be out of challenge.

It’s very simple: cooking is based on personal taste. So are the games and mostly so is Civilization V. You may like your French fries with more salt than your friend, but you may also look forward to a different type of victory in Civilization V (while eating your extra-salted French fries) than your friend. There is absolutely no problem about this if the things remain as they are, but they will not. Just search on the internet for some advices about the best way to win a Civilization game and everyone will tell you how much salt you need for your French fries instead. Everyone thinks that his way is the best way this game should be played, while the creators of the game forged FIVE different ways to win, available for everyone.

1. One might say that conquering your enemies is the finest and the greatest way to win the game. One tells you this after he wasted two kilos of salt for their French fries without taking in consideration that Civilization V was meant to be more intense and complex than an ordinary strategy game.

2. Another one, an old-fashion-Zerg-rush-know-it-all person, says that a Diplomatic victory is a must. The problem with this guy is that he just cannot eat while playing so he wants to finish the game quickly, before his food gets cold.

3. Probably you’ll meet some girls playing this game and, like most of the girls, will be against you by any means (not only in the game, but even in real life) and will do anything just to argue about something. Thus being said, she will go for a cultural victory because it is noble, just as noble as the French fries made by her for us all.

4. Hipsters will go for scientific victory and guess why! Because they know nothing about science, of course! They are not eating French fries at all, but baked potatoes with some olive oil and rosemary. That’s the recipe they saw at Ramsay Gordon before it was cool. If you play against a hipster, please focus on a conquesting, even though you wanted a different way to win, ok? Do that for me and remember: all hipsters must … whatever before it gets cool.

5. Finally, there might be another way to win this game … if you can call it a win. Time. You just wait as Floyd Mayweather and Manny Pacquiao, to automatically finish the game in 2050. In the meantime, you’ll go for all the stuffs to get the biggest score. Those who are looking forward this way of winning are not making the French fries by their own, but are buying them from McDonald’s. Shame on them.

As for me, I like my French fries to be diverse. I cook them by myself and some are burnt, some are just well roasted. Sometimes I like to add some cheese or some eggs and I’d prefer pepper instead of salt. That’s the same way I like to play Civilization V: I do not run from wars, but I do agree some commerce, too. If I feel like it’s possible, I go for the space race or simply I dominate every civilization with my culture. There is no other strategy game meant to be so tasty like Civilization V and it’s just a bad idea to finish it as soon as you manage; as bad as eating your food just to eat, not enjoying a bit.

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Author at Hallowed Gaming
Political science student, big music fan (different genres) and an awkward gamer. I do enjoy good books and drinking different liquids: from water to beer.
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